I do not wish to bore you, my readers, with stories of my own childhood. However I just want to tell you this story and encourage you to read my latest blog.
When I was 14 I had my own rather large group of friends. In my school year I spoke to almost everyone, mostly all of my classmates. When I was 14 I had responsibilities, not just in my home but school and towards my classmates. My mum and dad could have a lie in at the weekend, they could depend on me to get ready for school, put a washing, iron my own clothes and keep my bedroom “tidy”. I was permitted to go out with friends and even have sleepovers.
Now I’m a mum of children with disabilities, it is a completely different World…..
Jack is fourteen. He has been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, GDD and severe behavioural issues and although he has the body of a young man, mentally he is nowhere near 14 years old. Yes that makes me sad to no end. Daryl is eleven years old. He has Epilepsy, GDD and also severe behavioural issues.
I cannot leave them unsupervised. I would love for them to have the same responsibilities as I did but it’s just not appropriate or feasible in any circumstances. When given the opportunity my two oldest boys will destroy anything they are given unsupervised access too. I spend a fortune on bathroom products because my boys ruin everything due to their sensory needs. In the past three years Jack and Daryl have broken two front windows, a glass panel in my front door, six televisions, six tablets, PlayStation Computers, sky boxes and also furniture…
Since last August Daryl has completely changed and I am struggling. In fact myself and my family are. Lately it has been truly difficult and testing times. Other than breaking things in the house, he is also targeting his toddler wee brother. Kyle is only two years old and just wants to be Daryl’s friend. Kyle adores him and follows him around.
I have begun to take Kyle with me if I have to leave them together. If I don’t there is a massive probability that Kyle will be hurt. It is truly awful. I follow them everywhere just to make sure they aren’t eating anything they shouldn’t or breaking household products or ruining things.
It is a truly stressful living situation and my boys need supervision at all times. Hopefully in a few weeks it will ease slightly as we will hopefully be moving house and all of my children will have their own space.
It has been a shitty time recently I know. For the past year or so it has been truly testing times for us. We have been married for almost two years now and you are my rock. You are the one I love, my best friend, my partner in crime and the one person I depend on most in my life. It has not been been an easy journey. You were only 22 when we had our first date. I was a single mum when we met. Not just any single mum. I was a mum with two young children who had special needs. From the moment we met, I was completely honest about my children. We became amazingly close and you knew everything about them already. You were my bestie. We spoke on Facebook, text and phoned each other almost every single day.
You were very young when you became an important figure in my children’s lives and you have never let us down.
We met on Facebook. Now I know you hate the page that we met on but I can truly say if it wasn’t for that famous DJ and his debateable page we would never have met. I know people will be rolling their eyes at this but I will be forever grateful for “internet dating”
When we met it was usually a comment this DJ had offhandly made to get huge clicks and likes, a debate going to interact with his followers. Massive clickbait. But it worked every single time….He was an amazing “fisherman” and well, to be honest we all got reeled in. The people on that page that I got friendly with had arguments about the teams we supported, why we supported them and why we defended them. I met a few amazing people on that page and I’m pleased that I’m still friends with them now.
Andy you asked me out on a date and I said yes and I then I horribly and ashamedly let you down because I thought you were too young for me and we wouldn’t have anything in common. How wrong was I? We finally went on our first date in the 27th April 2012. You met my boys soon after. We were so close already and it didn’t scare you taking on my children from a previous relationship. You stepped up. You embraced my boys. You took the time to get to know them, play the daft games, play outside, set up their tablets or computers. You even organised their birthday presents.
I truly think that you are completely amazing. You are almost six years younger than me yet you act more and more mature than me. When I tell people of our age gap. I always get the same same reaction. We look and behave the same age, sometimes. You took on me, all of us, I was a single mum and had her two kids. My two children with additional needs like Autism, ADHD, GDD, severe behaviour issues and Speech and language delays. Well you fell in love with us all. I’m sure folk ask how can you take on all that baggage? The truth is that you didn’t need to….. Andy you wanted me and my kids and now we have Kyle…. Our family is truly complete and I love you always xxxx